i met you in the dark (you lit me up)
by softiesharpie
Summary: Sara takes care of a hungover Ava and realizes that maybe there's more to Ava's newfound rebelliousness than she'd realized. Set after 5x02.


Sara sighed as she made her way back to the parlor.

It'd been an... interesting day, that's for sure.

It started with them traveling to the 1940s to capture one of their encores, John eating more weird things that made Sara feel sick, and her leaving Ava and Mick to themselves.

She smiled at that last part. Okay, maybe she'd done that on purpose just so the two could get along more.

She expected for them to get a little tipsy, maybe, and for Mick to create a diversion by starting a fire.

What she wasn't expecting was to walk in on Ava drunkenly singing a song on the stage, looking more carefree than Sara had ever seen her.

More drunk than she'd ever see her, too.

As bad as Ava sounded when she was trying to belt out the lyrics, Sara couldn't help but smile as she thought about it.

Ava seemed so happy in that moment, not weighed down by her past or her anxieties. She just... lived in the moment and let go - something that was pretty much a patented Legends move at this point.

Sara smiled as she walked into the parlor and found Ava fast asleep in her chair, snoring loudly.

Her heart warmed as she reached over to tuck a strand of Ava's hair behind her ear, making the blonde lean into her touch.

"God, I love you," Sara whispered and kissed Ava's temple.

She then realized that Ava would probably be hungover when she woke up and would probably like it if Sara had things ready for her.

She thought about asking Mick to help carry Ava to the bedroom, since he was still in there with her, but decided that she wanted to do it herself.

Once she'd done that, Gideon fabricated some future cocktail that would help Ava feel better fast. (Sara wasn't sure how well it worked since she'd never taken it herself).

When it was ready, she made her way to the bedroom.

She chuckled fondly at what she found. Ava was laying face down on a pillow, still snoring, with one of her feet hanging over the side of the bed.

"Cute." Sara smiled and put the cup she'd brought on the nightstand before changing Ava into some pajamas.

She watched as Ava rolled over onto her back and let out a long snore and tried not not to laugh at the sound. Ava wasn't normally this loud of a sleeper.

She changed into pajamas before getting into bed next to Ava. She was barely in bed before Ava suddenly rolled over and landed flat half-on-top-of Sara, knocking the wind out of her.

Sara chuckled quietly as she wrapped her arms around Ava and kissed her temple.

The taller blonde just groaned and draped her leg over Sara, clinging to her tightly.

Sara grinned. It was normally her who was the one who clung to Ava in her sleep, so it was nice for the roles to be reversed for once.

She yawned and brought her hand up to gently run through Ava's curled hair. "Goodnight, sweetheart." She whispered into the darkness of the room.

It took a bit for her to fall asleep, Ava's loud snoring made it a bit difficult, but she didn't mind. She was happy to just hold Ava through the night.

Ava awoke with a groan as she immediately felt her head pounding. "Fuck." She rasped out, shielding her eyes from the dim lighting of the room.

Sara stirred slightly. "Good morning to you, too, baby." She said in a teasing voice, smiling.

"Fuck." Ava repeated, voice weak from lack of use. "I think I'm dying." She said, going to hide her face in Sara's neck.

Sara chuckled, "not dying, just hungover." She said.

"Which reminds me." She reached over and grabbed the cup from the nightstand. "Here's something that should help." She handed it to her.

Ava gratefully took it and winced at the awful taste. "God, what happened last night?" She mumbled. She felt like she was going to puke at any moment.

Sara thought for a moment, not sure about what to tell Ava. "You... you and Mick were drinking during the mission and caused a diversion for us that saved the mission." She smiled.

Ava furrowed her brows as she tried to remember what'd happened. "I..." she trailed off and frowned. "I remember Mick and I talking." She said.

"I told him how I'm not used to people not needing me and how it's a weird adjustment from having so many responsibilities at the Bureau to... to suddenly losing it all."

Sara frowned at that. She didn't know that Ava'd been thinking about that lately.

"Has this been on your mind for awhile, Aves?" She asked softly, still playing with Ava's hair.

Ava sighed and nodded. "Yeah... kind of. It's just... a mess, really."

She stayed quiet for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts

She pulled away so she could look at Sara. "I... I packed up the last few things from my apartment the other day."

Sara frowned, "oh?" She hadn't known that.

"Yeah. I was going to tell you, but... I- I thought I needed to do it alone." Ava sighed. "It was a weird thing for me. The Bureau got me my house years ago when they..." she trailed off and shook her head.

"When they what, baby?" Sara asked softly.

Ava frowned. "When they took the first Ava Sharpe from 2213. They bought her the house and most of the things it is. It wasn't my choice... I didn't have a choice in any of it, but yet- yet it feels like I just lost something big." She tried to explain.

"It's not that I'm overly sentimental or anything... and it's not like I really cared about the house. I just- I feel like it was the only thing that still connected me to the Bureau and the responsibilities that came with it. It's the only thing that's been there since I- well, the other Ava's and I, have existed. And it's weird to think about it like that, but it's true. First it was Rip, and he's gone. And now it's the apartment."

Sara nodded. She hadn't really thought of it like that.

"A- and the clone thing still makes me anxious to think about even though I found out over a year ago. I don't even know why it still affects me, it's stupid." Ava started spiraling.

Sara quickly interrupted. "It's not stupid, Aves." She took Ava's hand. "It's a lot to process, I get that. I just... didn't know you were going through all of this. I'd been so caught up in us living together and what happened in the crisis that I wasn't thinking about your feelings. And I'm sorry for that."

She squeezed Ava's hand, frowning. She felt guilty. The crisis had been weighing on her heavily and it took up a lot of her thoughts and energy.

"I'm really sorry."

Ava frowned. "Don't apologize, really. It's not like you could've known." She said, not blaming Sara at all.

"I tried to sort through it all on my own at first... and it was working until I went back to my apartment." She explained. "That was when it all hit me again and got to me. I cried a lot that day. But, thinking about it now, it's... almost freeing in a way." She realized.

Sara looked confused. "What do you mean?" She asked. Her heart ached at the thought of Ava crying alone all day.

"Everything that the Bureau was - the responsibilities, the stability - it's all gone now. Everything that came with being Ava #12 is gone. I chose this new life, with you and the Legends," she smiled, "my other life wasn't a choice... not in the way this one is, you know?"

Sara smiled too. "That's a good way to think about it." She said. "I can definitely see how it would be freeing and maybe a little confusing."

"Yeah... it's still very confusing." Ava chuckled slightly.

Sara nodded. "I get that. I just- I want..." she stumbled a bit.

Ava squeezed her hand encouragingly.

"I want to be there for you. I want to know what's going on with you so I can help you through it." Sara said. "I get that I don't have to know everything, and that's okay. But... it just- breaks my heart that you were alone and upset all day, Aves."

"I should've- I wish I-" Sara shook her head, frowning.

"Hey." Ava softly said when she noticed Sara getting upset with herself. "Listen to me. You couldn't have known, my love." She gently ran her thumb over Sara's knuckles.

She watched Sara relax a little, both at the pet name and at the soft gesture.

"I don't blame you, and you're here for me now. That's what matters." Ava tried to comfort her.

"Yeah, yeah you're right." Sara let out a long breath.

Ever since the crisis, she'd been more sensitive when it came to things like these.

She still, in a way, blamed herself for what happened. And that blame sometimes made her feel like everything was her fault.

Like even the smallest inconveniences on the ship were her fault and she failed the team again.

Ava squeezed Sara's hand again. "I have been overthinking it a lot lately. But... I overthink a lot already. You know that."

Sara nodded.

"It's just- it's just a lot. I feel so many things... conflicting things that I don't know how to reconcile."

Sara nodded again. It made a lot of sense now that Ava had explained it to her.

"I get it. Trust me, I do." She gave her a soft smile. "And... I'm here for you. Whenever you need me. If you want to talk about it, or cry, or just need a distraction to get your mind off of it. I'm here, okay?"

Ava sighed contently. "Okay, thank you."

She wrapped her arm around Sara's waist, smiling. "Come here." She whispered as she pulled her in for a kiss that Sara happily returned.

"Wait." Ava pulled away.

Sara frowned. "What?"

"What medicine did you give me? Because I feel much better than when I first woke up." Ava said, confused.

She remembered feeling sick less than an hour ago, and now it was almost completely gone.

Sara relaxed, relieved that something wasn't wrong. "Some future concoction Gideon made. She said it would help."

"It did." Ava hummed. "Thank god."

"What, you've never been hungover before?" Sara lightly teased.

"I haven't, no." Ava replied.

"Oh," Sara bit her lip. "Sorry." She winced, feeling a bit bad for teasing her now.

Ava shook her head. "Noo, stop apologizing." She kissed her again. "It's not a big deal. I mean... of course I have college memories of drinking and everything, but I know those didn't happen so." She shrugged.

Her fake memories were something she was slowly becoming at peace with. It didn't that affect her as much as the actual fact that she was a clone did.

"Well then, lucky you." Sara chuckled. "Your first hangover and it lasted, like, thirty minutes." She joked.

"Actually, Captain, the drink I'd made was meant to make her hangover symptoms get better over the course of a few hours, not thirty minutes. Her getting over it so quickly may be a result of her impeccable genetics." Gideon interrupted.

Ava asked, "so... what you're saying is if I take your drink, I'm less likely to get long lasting hangovers affects... because I'm a clone?"

"That's my theory, yes. I don't quite know for sure."

"Weird." Ava said. "So... some things about me are less than normal while others are a little too normal?"

Gideon paused for a moment before replying, "I suppose you could put it like that, yes. I have healed you several times from injuries and it seems you do get the same effects when you're hurt that a non-clone individual would get."

"'Non-clone individual', huh?" Ava chuckled, not sure how she felt about that.

"I was trying to be tactful, Miss Sharpe." Gideon retorted.

Ava chuckled again. "Thanks, I appreciate that." She said before looking back at Sara.

"Maybe there are some perks to being a clone after all." She said with a small shrug.

Sara smiled at her, in complete awe of how far she'd come since she first found out about her origins. She didn't realize how long she was staring at her until Ava said, "babe?"

Sara blinked, "sorry, what?"

Ava frowned. "Where did you go just now?" She asked softly.

Sara just smiled. "Nowhere I just... really love you." She said, because she did. She loved Ava so much and was so proud of how far she'd come in the past year.

Ava's cheeks flushed and she let out a small giggle. "I love you too."

The little bit of unease she'd felt that came from talking about her origins melted away.

Sara beamed at Ava's reaction. "You're so cute." She said, enjoying watching Ava blush some more.

"Shut up." Ava giggled and hid her face in her hands, cuddling more into Sara.

Sara chuckled and held Ava closer. "What? It's true."

Ava just giggled and blushed more, making Sara laugh and kiss her temple. She loved when Ava got like this - when she was this soft and relaxed

They stayed cuddled together for a few minutes, just enjoying the closeness between them.

"Babe?" Ava asked after thinking for a moment.

"Yeah?" Sara looked at her.

Ava groaned. "Please don't tell me I sang on a stage last night."


End file.
